You've done everything right. You've taken classes. You've spent hours on apps. You've read children’s books, watched Dutch TV shows, and you can order a coffee like a pro.
And yet, when you try to speak Dutch in real life, something happens. The friendly cashier switches to English. Your colleagues politely answer in English. Even your neighbours, whom you’ve greeted in Dutch for months, slip back into English after your first sentence.
Sound familiar? If so, you're not alone. And no, it doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong.
The Dutch tendency to make things easy
Learning Dutch in the Netherlands comes with a unique paradox: many Dutch people speak excellent English. And quite a few enjoy using it. Often, they switch languages to make things easier. For you, for them, or simply because it’s quicker.
But while well-intentioned, every switch to English can feel like a missed chance to practise your Dutch, and might even make you wonder, “Am I hard to understand?”, “Did I make a mistake?”, “Maybe I’m not quite ready yet.”
That self-doubt is far more common than you might think.
Why speaking feels harder than learning
Apps like Duolingo are fantastic for building vocabulary. You can learn hundreds of words and get plenty of enthusiastic encouragement from the cheerful owl. But real-life conversations are messy and unpredictable.
Speaking a new language means:
- Forming your own sentences on the spot
- Understanding nuance and tone
- Adjusting based on the situation; a presentation isn’t the same as small talk
And perhaps most importantly: managing your own perfectionism. Many expats feel they must speak perfect Dutch before daring to speak at all.
But here’s the truth: perfection isn’t necessary to have meaningful conversations. Progress only happens through speaking, even when it’s not flawless.
Learn how to make Dutch conversation with a Regina Coeli language course
How to stay in Dutch, even when others switch
If you want to get better at speaking Dutch, you need one thing above all else: practice in real-life situations. And that means gently staying in Dutch even when others try to “help” you by switching to English. Here are some strategies that work:
1. Set your Dutch zones
Choose specific situations where you commit to speaking Dutch. This might be at the supermarket, at your sports club, at your child’s school and so on. When someone replies in English? Smile and keep answering in Dutch.
2. Find your Dutch buddy
Identify a patient friend or colleague who agrees to always speak Dutch with you. They’ll give you space to find your words, without constant corrections.
3. Feed your brain with Dutch
Read Dutch news, watch Dutch TV shows, and listen to Dutch podcasts. The more input you get, the easier it becomes to participate in conversations naturally.
4. Use Dutch at work where possible
In Dutch-speaking environments, your colleagues will likely appreciate your efforts. Even in international settings, casual chats with Dutch colleagues can provide valuable practice.
5. Keep your skills sharp online
Use websites like beterspellen.nl for daily grammar practice. If you’ve already taken a Dutch course, continue with your online exercises.
The confidence gap
The hardest part about speaking a new language isn’t always the language itself. It’s the fear of not being understood. Every time someone switches to English, it can reinforce that fear.
But here’s an encouraging thought: many Dutch people who speak excellent English were once learners themselves, or still are when speaking other languages. They understand how vulnerable it feels to stumble through sentences while your brain races to find the right words. Most will happily support your efforts if you let them know you want to stick with Dutch.
Because you are capable, and you’ve already come so far. Believe in yourself, and the Dutch will start to flow.
Sometimes, what you need is a safe space to practice, expert feedback, and personal coaching to push through the last barriers. A place where you can make mistakes without pressure and gain the confidence to bring your Dutch into the real world.
That’s exactly what Regina Coeli offers. With tailored language training, professional coaching, and full focus on your personal goals, we help expats turn “I hope I said that right” into “I know I said that right.”