Therapy is many things to many people. But the common denominator in therapy is that people choose to go because they are “suffering” in some way - mentally or emotionally - and need some support, to change, to grow, or to move on.
In my experience, people usually come to therapy when they feel lost, overwhelmed or unable to cope with life. I use the term “suffering” to describe the feelings that people experience when they face difficult issues in their lives. It can be triggered by any number of things; divorce, health challenges, a new job, loneliness, feelings of inadequacy, identity issues, bereavement, financial worries, or relationship difficulties (personal and professional).
Life is full of change and inevitable suffering. Change can be traumatic and dramatic (cancer diagnosis); it can be sudden and unexpected (death of a loved one, loss of a job); or it can be slow, gradual and oftentimes imperceptible (identity issues, relationship problems). Furthermore, there can be internal forces that trigger suffering in us.
These forces include what therapists describe as the 3 Ps: the Pleaser, the Performer and the Perfectionist. These three traits in particular can unconsciously create untold suffering in our lives and in our relationships.
The most common misconception around therapy is that it’s somewhere to get advice and be offered solutions to problems. Therapists are not there to give answers to questions or solutions to problems or to fix people. Rather, therapy, from my experience, is about:
So, what can you expect from therapy?
“We do not see things as they are. We see things as we are” ~ Anais Nin
Discovering this truth is, for me, essentially the adventure of therapy. We all deserve a life lived to the fullest, with meaning, purpose and a sense of fulfilment and satisfaction. Therapy is one way to make this aspiration a reality.