Old wounds, present reactions: How the body remembers what the mind forgets

"All the problems a person has are structured in his body and the basic problem he has is that he's afraid to come alive and have feelings fully" - A. Lowen

Emotions are part of how we move through life, often arising before we even realise it. Whether we’re waiting in line at the supermarket with other customers, sitting in a work meeting with our colleagues, or sharing a moment with a partner, a parent or our children, emotions shape the way we relate to the world. 

Sometimes, a certain tone of voice, specific words or attitudes, a raised eyebrow, or a lack of response can feel more intense than usual. Why? Because something inside remembers. These feelings often don’t come from what’s happening right now. They’re stirred by echoes from the past, especially from early life.

Rather than responding to the moment, we re-live something older. An emotional replay, rooted in childhood, begins to take over, and suddenly, our feelings are much more intense than the actual situation seems to call for.

Old wounds in the here and now

Early experiences leave lasting marks; not just in our minds, but also in our nervous systems and bodies, in the form of networks of tension. These marks aren’t always from big, dramatic events.

Often, they’re the result of ongoing, verbal and non-verbal messages in the family where we grew up: emotions that weren’t welcomed, boundaries that weren’t respected, or needs that went unnoticed.

When repeated over and over again, they condition our way to feel, react, think and behave in a structural way.

These old imprints live quietly within us until something in daily life brings them to the surface. One moment we’re fine, and the next we turn into a wave of tears, a volcano of anger, a collapsed version of ourselves or a scared child. It might not make sense on the surface, but inside, something deep has been touched.

When we notice patterns

Many of us have moments where we think, "Why do I so often react like this?" or "Why does this keep happening in certain situations or with specific people?" These repeating emotional patterns are clues.

The trigger for this reaction will often be a word, a tone of voice, a facial expression or posture, a certain kind of silence, or even a physical sensation, a tension, a memory or a recurring thought. These cues awaken parts of us we didn’t realise were still painful, much like a forgotten wound that stings when touched.

Someone you love says or does something, and you react strongly. They don’t understand why and get triggered in turn, but if you know about your painful emotional spot, you can consciously protect and care for it before, during or after it is triggered.

The awareness of these sore spots can change everything: when practised consistently in daily life, it reduces both the intensity and frequency of your reactions.

The path to healing isn’t just in your mind

Personal growth isn’t just about thinking positively or telling yourself to "move on". It’s about recognising your old wounds, healing them as much as possible, and learning how to respond differently when they’re triggered in your relationships.

While talking about the past can bring insight, which can comfort your mind, it’s often not enough to truly feel different. Emotions live in the body; in breath, tension, posture, voice. That’s why healing also needs to involve the body. This embodied approach allows us to move from simply understanding our patterns to actually feeling different in our daily lives.

A shared human journey

For many of us, learning how to navigate emotions is not something we were taught, but something we’re still figuring out, step by step. In therapeutic body-oriented therapy sessions or workshops, we can begin to gently explore what our emotions are doing inside us.

With the help of movement, sound, touch and conscious breathing, we give space to what has long been held in, always within the safety of the moment. Some exercises are quiet and inward, others more expressive and powerful; they function as an emotional stretching which amplifies our capacity to feel and stay open, so that old patterns can be released. It’s a deeply human journey which gradually leads us toward greater ease, connection, and joy.

"You've got to first look at yourself and find out how you can deal with the problems you've had from your childhood and when you can do that, you open your heart and your mind and your body to the real understanding of life and that’s when real pleasure and joy can come" - A. Lowen