Drop-offs, playdates and Dutch parents: Surviving the Dutch schoolyard scene

As an expat parent, you’ve probably already mastered the art of biking in the rain, attended your first Dutch birthday circle, and maybe even remembered to pack your kids a boterham for lunch. But the real test? Surviving the daily school drop-off (or daycare handover) without feeling excluded from those around you.

Whether you’re at the crèche or the schoolplein, speaking even a little bit of Dutch opens a lot of doors (and gets you a lot of playdate invites). Check out this guide below to help you master the schoolyard scene!

Chitchat 101: How the Dutch do it

Most Dutch parents are masters of kletsen (casual chitchat), which happens at drop-off, pick-up or while waiting for your kid to zip up their coat before facing the wet bike ride home. If you’re standing next to each other in silence, feel free to break it with a comment about the weather. No matter if the weather is hot, cold, rainy or windy, this topic always feels like common ground between Dutchies.

Try something like this:

• If it’s nice weather:  "Lekker weer, hè?" (Nice weather, huh?)
• Or when it’s pouring (again):  "Wat een rotweer vandaag." (What awful weather today.)

What else can you bring up? Well, kletsen can cover practically anything. For example, if you’ve seen this other parent or child often but haven’t yet spoken much, you can start by giving a little compliment to get the conversation going. I mean, who wouldn’t want to hear compliments about their kid?! For example:

• "Wat lijkt ze op jou zeg!" (Wow, she really looks like you!) – and you can even throw in a "Ja, echt jouw ogen." (Yes, definitely your eyes).
• "Ze heeft zo'n schattige outfit aan!" (She has such a cute outfit on!) 

The real trick to bonding with other Dutch parents is finding a common denominator, a great example being toddler struggles. When you see another parent yawning, try "Korte nachten, hè?" (Short nights, huh?). It’s a simple yet effective way of showing your understanding of one another. Give some of these a try next time and let us know how it goes!

Summer countdown conversations

As the weather warms up, many families head off for their summer holidays. Are you thinking what I’m thinking? Yup! PERFECT conversation points. If you want to jump in, these are the big three topics to look out for:

Vakantieplannen (Holidays plans)

Ask things like: "Waar gaan jullie heen op vakantie?" (Where are you going on holiday?) Most answers involve France, Italy or Zeeland, and often in a caravan. When you hear the part of the sentence that goes "En jij?" – that’s your time to shine! Maybe you’re heading to Portugal this summer, in which case you can answer, "In juli gaan we naar Portugal."

Schoolfeest and Eindmusical 

The schoolfeest is often a chaotic but sweet end-of-year celebration. And if your child is in Group 8, they’ll perform in the famous eindmusical. Expect Dutch songs, costumes, and maybe some tears, even if you can barely understand the lyrics! Try looking up some of the songs in advance to help you prepare, for example, Het Regent Zonnestralen by Acda en De Munnik, or Leef by the one and only, André Hazes Jr. 

Speelafspraakjes (Playdates)

These get planned, of course, like mini logistics operations. If you hear, "Mag X bij jullie spelen?", a simple, "Ja hoor, gezellig!" (Of course, fun!) seals the deal. Let’s go over what to do once a date is agreed below.

Mastering playdates like a Dutch parent

Speelafspraakjes (playdates) are a parenting rite of passage here and a great way to hear the Dutch language in action. First things first, make sure you’ve prepared some nice snacks if you are the one hosting! Prepare, for example, some koekjes (cookies) for the kids or fruit on a plate. 

Things you might hear the kids say include:

• "Samen spelen, samen delen." (Play together, share together.)
• "Hij is vervelend!" (He’s being annoying!)
• "Mamaaaaa, mogen we een snackie?" (Mommm, can we have a snackie?)

Questions you might want to ask and/or what you might hear the other parents ask:

• "Is X ergens allergisch voor?" (Is X allergic to anything?)
• "We hebben een poes - is dat oké?" (We have a cat - is that okay?)
• "Mag ze blijven eten? We halen haar voor zes op." (Can she stay for dinner? We’ll pick her up before six.)

The takeaway

You don’t need to speak perfect Dutch to know your way around a fun playdate, but some Dutch could really help! Showing effort and throwing in a "Waar gaan jullie heen op vakantie?" when necessary will go a long way here in the Netherlands. Start small, listen in, and don’t be afraid to klets your way in!